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Member experiences
This article was written by thalidomide-impaired people themselves. In no uncertain terms they explain what they need - particularly in terms of attitude - from people without similar disabilities.
Celebrate the difference!
Thalidomide and similarly impaired people are the experts on their own bodies (we have had them all our lives!) and lifestyles. If we state that we need or require something in particular, we are not being 'difficult', nor do we have a chip on our shoulders, this is our reality and you must respect that. Sometimes the things we ask for are to make life easier for you as well.
We ask you to see our impairments as POSITIVE - do not view
them as negative and therefore try to eliminate them (unless life-threatening).
We ask you to show respect for the emotions, experiences and opinions
being expressed - they are as real and valid as those of the
rest of the population. Do not make assumptions about our disability
or what can or cannot be done for us, and LISTEN to what disabled
people have to say.
Just living our lives
Thalidomide-impaired people generally tend not to think of themselves as 'amazing' and 'marvellous'. Yet society continues to use these adjectives again and again when looking at how we live our lives. The fact is just that - we are living our lives and we know no differently. The media have not helped in portraying us in this vein, often choosing to show a thalidomide-impaired person doing things with their feet, teeth or driving.
I've got a friend who's disabled... she's marvellous - she drives and lives on her own...'
Thalidomide impaired and other disabled people get tired of hearing
that story. It is the same as saying 'I've got a friend who
is black'. Many people tend to lump people with disabilities together,
ignoring the fact that each disabled person has his or her own individual
life and circumstances.
The ability to drive, work or have children may be no different from anyone else, but day to day living has more obstacles. Our day is so much longer. To get up, shower and dress each morning may take as long as two or three hours.
At the end of the working day, on returning home there is no time to relax in the chair with a cup of tea. Preparing the evening meal may take two or three times as long for us as it does for anyone else. Extra help for household chores cannot always be afforded.
Hands off!
On a practical note, never move anything in someone's work or home environment without asking first, and always put it back exactly where it was found. People in wheelchairs, or those with short arms, place things where they can be reached even if it looks untidy. If the object is even one millimetre out of reach, it may as well have been taken down the road!
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